Harry and Hermione Got Married Wait, What?
by Windrises
Summary: Hogwarts' daily newspaper releases an article about Harry and Hermione getting married. Most people don't believe it, but Ron becomes concerned. Harry and Hermione hope they can explain what's really going on.


Note: Harry Potter was created by J. K. Rowling and is a film series owned by Warner Bros.

Harry Potter and Hermione Granger had stormed into Voldemort's castle and they were prepared to defeat the evil wizard. If they had tried to defeat him a few years ago, they would of likely lost. However, they had studied and learned the most powerful of magic spells. They were brave and determined enough, to bring Voldemort down.

The two friends started using their wands to attack Voldemort. Voldemort knew they would be formidable threats, but he was surprised by how powerful they were. He had never seen such great threats before. He asked, "How do you have so much power?"

Hermione smiled and said, "Being an overly big fan of books has paid off. You may have years of experience at evil magic, but I have more experience at good magic than your eternal life could ever learn."

Voldemort replied, "Bold words, especially since they'll be your last." He was about to blast her to the ground, but Harry stepped in and started helping Hermione defeat Voldemort. Voldemort asked, "How are you so powerful, Mr. Potter?" Harry shrugged.

After a few minutes of fighting, Voldemort was defeated. However, before he passed out, he threw a sleeping potion at Harry and Hermione. He passed out and started dreaming about getting a wig.

Hermione was starting to struggle with keeping her eyes open. She looked at Harry and said, "We finally defeated that monster." She loudly yawned.

Harry jokingly replied, "I didn't know that defeating Voldemort would be so boring for you."

Hermione kept yawning, while responding, "I'm not really sure why, but I feel so tired."

Harry replied, "Me too. It's probably because we worked so hard." Before their conversation could continue, Harry and Hermione's eyes closed. They started sleeping on the floor.

A few minutes later, two guards broke into Voldemort's castle. The first guard saw that Voldemort had been defeated. He had an excited look on his face, while saying, "This is wonderful. We can take him to prison."

The second guard noticed the passed-out Harry and Hermione, so he asked, "Should we help out those kids?"

The first guard said, "Nah, Hogwarts is so far away and I don't want to carry those two punks."

The second guard replied, "Yeah, those brats are probably napping around here, so they can meet whoever defeated Voldemort." The two disrespectful guards picked up Voldemort and walked out.

A short time later, Rubeus Hagrid walked into the castle and found Harry and Hermione. He noticed they were passed out, so he said, "I better get you two heroes back to Hogwarts." He picked them up and started heading back towards Hogwarts.

A half hour later, Gilderoy Lockhart was staring at his own reflection. After being fired from being the Professor of the Dark Arts, he had been in charge of writing the Hogwarts' daily newspaper. However, he often got distracted by his own charm.

Hagrid walked into Lockhart's office and said, "I have a story for tomorrow's newspaper."

Lockhart replied, "Give me a break. You have one of Hogwarts' most boring jobs. How exciting could your story possibly be?"

Hagrid said, "Harry Potter and Hermione Granger defeated Voldemort."

Lockhart responded, "That's not a bad story. I'll start writing it up."

Hagrid replied, "By the way, you need to work on your spelling. Yesterday, you even spelled Hogwarts wrong."

Lockhart responded, "Fine, I'll put more effort into my work." Lockhart started typing the story up. Despite his claim about putting in more effort, he made lots of spelling mistakes.

The next morning, the newspaper was finished and several Hogwarts professors and students started reading it. There was dozens of spelling mistakes. However, the story's byline stood out as the biggest error of them all. Lockhart tried to write that Harry and Hermione got carried back to Hogwarts, after defeating Voldemort. However, the article's byline said, "Harry and Hermione married, by Minister Voldemort." Lockhart was aware of this spelling error. Instead of correcting it, he wrote a fake article about the wedding.

Most of Hogwarts' professors and students were smart enough to know it was a fake article. However, Ronald Weasley read the article and thought it was real. He angrily ripped the newspaper and said, "I can't believe that my best friend would marry my crush. I didn't even know they were dating. They've probably been going on secret dates, without telling me. They didn't even invite me to their wedding."

Fred and George Weasley walked up to Ron, with big smiles on their faces. Fred asked, "Did you hear about your friends getting married?"

Ron looked annoyed, while saying, "I sure did. I've never been so mad at Harry."

George whispered to Fred, "Ron seems really upset at Harry, so we should trick him into pranking his friend."

Fred whispered back, "That seems like the responsible thing to do." He looked back at Ron and said, "You should get revenge on Harry. You should break one of his wands or something like that."

Ron replied, "I'm going to get revenge on that jerk."

George asked, "What are you going to do?"

Ron said, "I'm going to break some of his favorite stuff."

Fred whispered to George, "This is going to be awesome." The immature brothers started sneaking behind Ron, so they could watch him wreck Harry's stuff.

Ron bursted into his and Harry's room. He grabbed Harry's blankets and ripped them in half. He ripped the pages out of Harry's spell books and threw his textbooks out the window. He could hear his brothers chuckling.

Harry walked into his room and saw Ron breaking his stuff, so he asked, "What do you think you're doing?"

Ron said, "This is revenge."

Harry had a confused look on his face, while asking, "What did I do?"

Ron angrily said, "You married Hermione."

Harry looked shocked. He said, "If that happened, I wasn't aware of it."

Ron asked, "What? Did you nap during your own wedding?"

Harry said, "Ron, I didn't get married."

Ron replied, "You did."

Harry was amused, by being accused of such an absurd claim. He and Hermione weren't old enough to be married and they had never gone on a single date. Harry said, "Ron, why would you think I got married?"

Ron pointed the newspaper in Harry's face and replied, "Ah ha, I got evidence, so you can't deny the truth anymore."

Vernon, Harry's uncle, bursted into his room. Harry had never seen his uncle at Hogwarts before, so it was an unpleasant surprise. Vernon had read the newspaper and was gullible enough to believe it. He angrily said, "Harry, what's wrong with you?"

Harry smirked and replied, "I'm not good at playing quidditch, but other than that, I'm pretty good."

Vernon responded, "Don't joke around with me, you corrupt millennial. I read about you getting married."

Harry raised an eyebrow and asked, "You read Hogwarts daily newspaper?"

Vernon answered, "Indeed I do. I read it, so I have something to rant about. It's a daily hobby of mine. Anyways, you're in a lot of trouble."

Harry replied, "I didn't get married. It was a fake story."

Vernon asked, "You expect me to believe more of your lies? You're barely old enough to drive, yet you think you can get married? The answer is no and you're in a truckload of trouble." Harry's uncle did a villainous sounding laugh, while Harry facepalmed.

Hermione walked into the room. Ron looked at her hands and was surprised that she didn't have a wedding ring. Hermione laughed and asked, "Did you guys see Lockhart's article of absurd lies? He's gotten so desperate for attention, that he claimed Harry and I got married. Thankfully, a majority of his readers are smart enough to have common sense, so Lockhart got in trouble, for writing fake stories. Who would believe Lockhart's newspaper articles? Also, who would be foolish enough to believe that Voldemort was Harry and I's wedding minister?"

Ron and Vernon looked embarrassed, for believing the article. In order to maintain his dignity, Vernon said, "I just came by to visit my dear nephew, Harry. Since I've done that, I'll get going. I certainly never believed that guy with the locked-up heart." He walked out, while Harry rolled his eyes.

Ron looked at Hermione and asked, "You and Harry didn't get married?"

Hermione gritted her teeth and asked, "Why would you believe such a thing?"

Ron said, "It sure was surprising, but I'm used to Harry doing bad things."

Harry replied, "Hey, if anybody's been doing bad things, it's you. You ripped up a bunch of my stuff and you threw my textbooks away. Professor Snape's going to be ticked off."

Ron responded, "Oh."

Hermione said, "That Lockhart guy is in a lot of trouble. Come on, Harry. Let's go visit his office and make him start telling the truth."

Ron tapped his foot and replied, "Hold on. Why are you and Harry leaving without me? Is it because you're secretly making wedding plans?"

Hermione sighed and asked, "How gullible are you?"

Ron thought about it and said, "I'm not sure."

Hermione replied, "Lockhart's just been lying about me and Harry, not you. If we brought you along, you'd keep accusing Harry and I of being married and I would go insane."

Ron chuckled and responded, "That'd be funny."

Hermione looked annoyed, while saying, "Let's hurry, Harry." Harry nodded.

A few minutes later, Harry and Hermione appeared in Lockhart's office. Lockhart had a surprised look on his face, while asking, "What are you lovebirds doing here?"

Hermione folded her arms and answered, "We're not lovebirds."

Lockhart started chirping and asked, "What's going on?"

Harry said, "We're mad about your lying article."

Lockhart stuck his hands in the air and said, "Before you newly weds start freaking out, let me explain myself. I've been making so many spelling mistakes, that people started believing the absurd things, that I accidentally wrote. I accidentally called Ron a weasel and several people believed it, including himself and his own brothers. Overtime, I realized if I've tricked people into lies, I might as well trick them into believing the juiciest of gossip. You two getting married has sold me lots of newspapers. If my sales keep going up, I might get promoted."

Hermione replied, "Your lies are absurd nonsense. As time goes on, people are going to realize you're a liar and you'll lose your job."

Lockhart did a smug laugh and responded, "There's always going to be gullible people and they'll also believe my deception."

Hermione sternly said, "Harry and I aren't going to let you publish any more fake articles."

Lockhart asked, "How could you stop me?" Hermione pointed her wand at him. Lockhart flung the wand to the ground and said, "Get real, Mrs. Potter. You don't have the guts to hurt me. Besides, you and your fake husband are perfect for each other."

Harry asked, "What makes you think that?"

Lockhart tapped Harry on the head and said, "Think about it, Mr. Potter. You're the leading action hero and Hermione is your closest help in stopping Voldemort. If this were a book or a film series, you two would end up together."

Hermione replied, "That sounds too predictable. With all due respect to Harry, I think I'll end up with somebody else."

Lockhart had a doubtful look on his face, while responding, "Yeah right. Do you think you'd end up with some comedy relief, like Ron? That wouldn't make sense and if that happened, who would Harry got out with? Would he start dating a character that barely has any screentime, like Ginny?"

Harry smiled and replied, "Ginny's kind of adorable." Hermione and Lockhart rolled their eyes.

Hermione looked back at Lockhart and said, "Whether or not Harry and I end up together, isn't your concern. You should be concerned about your newspapers of lies."

Lockhart replied, "Okay then. I better start writing tomorrow's article."

Hermione sighed and responded, "Let's just go, Harry. Lockhart's becoming a hopeless case." Harry nodded and followed her.

The next morning, Lockhart released an article about Harry and Hermione being on their honeymoon. Since Harry and Hermione were in the hallways of Hogwarts, hardly anybody believed the article.

Hermione found Harry in the hallway. She walked up to him and said, "Lockhart sure has gotten desperate. An angry mob of students want a refund, for being sold a newspaper of lies."

Harry replied, "I don't blame them."

Ron walked up to them and said, "I'm assuming you're not on your honeymoon."

Hermione lightly smiled and replied, "You guessed correctly, Mr. Weasley."

Lockhart walked by them and said, "Mr. and Mrs. Potter, you should go back to your honeymoon."

Hermione replied, "Lockhart, lying's a dangerous game and since you keep playing it, you're going to get in trouble."

Lockhart nervously responded, "I'm heading to Professor Dumbledore's office. He wants to see me and I'm guessing I'm not getting a promotion." Harry and Hermione smirked, while Lockhart walked away.

Ron looked at his friends and said, "I'm sorry for believing Lockhart's lies. That was stupid of me."

Hermione replied, "It's okay. Just be careful about the accuracy of the things you read."

Ron responded, "I might start doing that."

After Ron walked away, Hermione asked Harry, "Isn't it crazy that people believed we'd get married?"

Harry said, "That was such a nonsensical lie. We would never get married."

Hermione asked, "Never?"

Harry said, "At least, not until we're older. Even then, that'll probably never happen." Harry blushed at the thought of that.

Hermione smiled and replied, "Anything's possible." She winked at him and walked away.

Harry sighed and said to himself, "The last two days have been filled with constant confusion and weirdness. However, I think those eccentric qualities are what make Hogwarts so special and unique." He smiled, while feeling glad that Hogwarts was about to become a more honest place.


End file.
